My Birthday

Today is my birthday. I was born to good parents many years ago. I was born in 1971. I am forty -four years old. I guess that is middle age. I never looked at age as anything but a number. It is a number really.  Iam not worried about age. I still have curiosity of a child. I still like to play. I still like innocence and fun. Children are my best friends.  I love teachers most. I love school. I have not grown up that way. I don’t want to. I dont know if am right or wrong.

I realised if you don’t exercise everyday your body will feel its age. The elixir to everlasting youth, if there ever is such a thing is to exercise and have a pure heart of a child. That way we will be truly in the moment (meditative) and healthy.

What have I learned in my life ?

My blog is only about learning but still…

1. Good behaviour does not necessarily mean a good person.  Good heart is a good person. Kind heart is a good person.

2. People who love you will always love you regardless of situations. People who dislike you will always dislike regardless of situations.

3.  Stay away from negative and passive – aggressive people. It will take a long time for you to know that they were never on your side.

4. Only one person changes your life. Mostly some one outside your inner circle.

5. If you have an opportunity to study. Pursue education early in life. Study well. Otherwise you have to go through a lot of wrong situations to reach the right place and right people.

6. There is no need to feel bad if somebody does not cooperate with you. Most people think they are clever, they only think they are clever.

7. People are so consumed of their needs and desires. They have nothing to give.  Ninety percent of the world is takers.

8.  We are responsible for everything that happens in our life. No body is to be blamed. It is really liberating and empowering thought. Then we can be whatever we want to be. Good or Bad.

9. Every one deserves love and respect. Every one deserves our good will. Every one deserves kindness. Every one deserves understanding.  Every one deserves forgiveness including ourselves.

10. I have a clandestine feeling Larry Page and Sergey Brin invented Google search engine so that poor men can have something equal to women. Because women know everything.

The last one is in fun 🙂

My friend asked me ” How did you celebrate your birthday ” so this is what i did ..

I went drank a bottle of Pomegranate juice, that’s all did..

I went biking after sometime. I always like it. I remembered..

” The most difficult thing is the decision to act, rest is tenacity.”

– Amelia Earhart

I came back and knew as always is the  practice in my home, my brother would get a cake in late evening. In his brithday me would go get a cake. I also heard my mother saying this 🙂

So that’s my little life : Pomegranate juice, Biking, Black Forest cake and Blog.

Sometimes feel very vulnerable most people have families and children by my age. Iam still alone. It is not a good place.

I also feel very vulnerable when my family falls sick. I really need some better luck than visiting hospitals..

I wish had some help. Sometimes turn to my sister for guidance. Sometimes to my friends.

So that’s my birthday today..

I have a job. Iam so grateful. I have hope. Iam surely on right track. My most beloved teachers wished me and so did my well wishers. I am so grateful. So wear gratitude as a cloak.

” Wear gratitude like a cloak and it will feed every corner of your life.”

– Rumi

Goodnight friends! Hope you have a lovely day!

Love, Suresh

Patrick Swayze

I like to watch Patrick Swayze dancing and the good actor is such a great dancer, this a a great song from the movie Dirty Dancing ( 1987). I guess it tells how old  Iam, which i will gratefully tell you tomorrow, every one here knows am honest. So tomorrow 🙂

I saw a very touching Patrick Swayze interview with Barbara Walters when he was very unwell saying ” When you go, you only take love with you.” That’s a line from the movie ” Ghost”( 1990). ( It’s amazing, Molly. The love inside, you take it with you)

Think about it..

Goodnight friends. Hope you have a lovely day!

Love, Suresh

” Nothing in the world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent. The slogan Press On! has solved and always will solve the problems of the human race.”
― Calvin Coolidge

Calvin Coolidge Bio :https://www.whitehouse.gov/1600/presidents/calvincoolidge

This is a great quote. I continue my theme of persistence and determination. If we are determined we can get most things done. So Resilience ( persistence + determination) + love is all you need:)

To be Resilient, you need to be healthy in body and mind, you need to have stamina for long haul, so run, bike, do yoga,meditate  and eat healthy.

And one more thing, education is important. Learn as much as possible, don’t go nuts with degrees, but whatever serves you and makes you happy.

Then you you will have a great life and that is enough 🙂

Love, Suresh

Resilience – The fundamental Building Block of Success ( Andreas von der Heydt)

” Resilience – The fundamental Building Block of Success

According to my experience the primary difference between winners and losers is how they handle set backs and and how they cope with losing. Without a doubt, even the strongest, most clever, and most competent ones among us stumble from time to time and do not succeed. Some of these challenges might be relatively minor. Others might be much larger in scale.

The real skill, and as such the main building block of success, is getting back on track again after difficult experiences and loses, and not giving up. Instead bouncing back into the original, or even into a stronger position than before.

In psychology this characteristic is called resilience: “An individual’s tendency to cope with stress and adversity. This coping may result in the individual “bouncing back” to a previous state of normal functioning, or simply not showing negative effects.”

Resilience, however, is not a silver bullet which automatically eliminates all problems of someone. It gives people the strength to directly face problems, to overcome adversity and to move on with their lives. (e.g. after a personal loss, sickness, nature catastrophe, etc.). People are able to marshal the strength to not just survive, but to prosper.

Ten Ways to become more resilient

There are people who naturally possess certain personality traits that assist them coping with setbacks and bringing them quickly back on a good track. Today we know that many of these skills can be learned and trained by anyone. As such they will help you to tackle past or upcoming problems head-on and to become more successful.

1. Understand that Setbacks are Part of Life
Life is not always cozy and fun. It is also characterized by complexity and challenges. They belong to life like the night is part of the day. Without night there would be no day. Without pain there would be no joy. While we often cannot avoid all the problems, we can choose to stay flexible, open-minded, and determined to succeed.

2. Be aware of Yourself and the Environment
Resilient people are aware of themselves, the environment, and their own emotional reactions to those around them. They have understood the importance of evaluating the reasons of their feelings by constantly observing themselves. This enables them to take control of the situation and to develop various options of behaving and acting.

3. Believe and know that You are in Control
If you are a resilient person, then you have a so-called Internal Locus of Control. You believe that you can control your life, you do not believe that you are defined by external factors which you can´t control. Instead, you feel that you have the power to make choices and take actions that will affect your success rate.

4. Become a Solution Thinker
When a difficult situation arises, resilient people would always think of solutions. They would act calmly, would review holistically the task at hand, and would be able to spot possible solutions. If not, they would envision them. Next time you encounter a new challenge, make a quick list of some of the potential ways you could solve it. Experiment with different strategies and focus on developing a logical way to work through it.

5. Believe in Yourself
You are unique. You are beautiful. You have proven already so often in life that you are an achiever. Remind yourself of your strengths and accomplishments. Believe in yourself and become more confident about your own abilities and strengths.

6. Set Goals and define manageable Milestones
Difficult situations can be extremely daunting. Resilient people are able to view these situations in a realistic way, and then set reasonable goals to deal with the problem. When you find yourself becoming overwhelmed by a situation, take a step back to simply assess what is before you. Brainstorm possible solutions, and then break them down into manageable steps. Be willing to adapt, if necessary. Remain flexible and embrace change.

7. Stay optimistic
Keeping a hopeful attitude during turbulent times is another key part of resilience. This does not mean ignoring problems at hand in order to focus on positive outcomes. It means understanding that setbacks are transient and that you have the skills and abilities to combat the challenges you face. What you are dealing with may be difficult, but it is important to remain hopeful and positive about a brighter future. View yourself as winner, not as a loser.

8. Be brave and ask for Help
Resilient people are mature enough to admit that they can´t know everything. They are also strong enough to admit, if they feel that their energy level is going down and that they need to re-charge their batteries by receiving outside know-how, advice, support, etc. from any potential source of assistance. In this respect it helps if you have a good social network. If you can exchange with family, friends, or colleagues in order to gain new perspectives and/ or motivation.

9. Take it easy
Even the best among us will not be able to achieve everything. Even if they are properly prepared, have done their homework, can rely on an excellent support network, are super optimistic, and absolutely committed. There are still factors outside of our control. And, most importantly, often things just need time to evolve and to develop. Resilient people understand that sometimes the best recipe of success is to step back and to wait. They know that patience often pays off. They do not get stressed out in such situations. Rather they relax, re-focus on themselves and getting ready for possible next steps.

10. Nurture Yourself
When you’re stressed, it can be all too easy to neglect your own needs. Losing your appetite, ignoring exercise, and not getting enough sleep are all common reactions to a crisis situation. Focus on building your self-nurture skills, even when you are troubled. Make time for activities that you enjoy. By taking care of your own needs, you can boost your overall health and resilience and be fully ready to face life’s challenges. ”

–  Andreas von der Heydt ” The single most essential building block of success ”

Source : https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/20130729121755-175081329-the-single-most-essential-building-block-of-success

I wrote a poem on resilience yesterday. I read this piece today and wanted to share for you dear friends. Andreas von der Heydt, who is head of kindle content  at Amazon Germany writes great posts as a Linkedin influencer. These ten ways to become resilient are useful and can help much in any circumstances.

I believe if all else fails and only  one quality remains ie ” Resilience” it supercedes all and is enough. That is why it is the final quality in my opinion. After resilience must be something spiritual, zen, undifferentiated love, unconditional love…

Resilience and love must then lead to godliness 🙂

Like Rafael Nadal plays at tennis, David Ferrer plays at tennis, Maria Sharapova plays at tennis 🙂

Goodnight friends! Hope you find this article useful.

Have a lovely day!

Love, Suresh

 

Broken poem, true poem

Talent gave me nothing

Love gave me nothing

Hardwork gave me nothing

Faith kept me alive

Friends held my hand

Some faces warmed my soul

Grit gave me a life

Prayers stiched a broken life

So I surrender,

To everlasting mercy of God

And beauty of my weapons

Faith and grit..

Yes I still love and give it all..

I met my childhood friend Anup after twenty plus years. I haven’t changed much, still love school friends and teachers. May be that’s my best experience. So hold on to it, like a feather in a wind..

Goodnight friends! Have a lovely day!

Love, Suresh

 

 

Every day poems..

Health:

My station in life

Is  then also to remind every one

Remind again, again and again

The most important thing

In this existence is your health

Health first, Health second, Health infinity

If you are healthy,You are a king,You are a Queen..

Stay healthy

 

The hardest thing :

The hardest thing

Is not being to meet the dear departed

Is not being able to meet the one you love

Is not being able to meet your friends

I find such denial forced by nature or man

Very hard..

 

Negative thought:

Life has been such

I cannot afford a negative thought

But am also caught up in such quagmire

For reasons not known  sometimes

My practice then is always to stay away

From a negative thought

So those who are worried

Those who are estranged

I have no negative thought

How can you think negative

For people you love ?

 

Johny Lever:

This is only ideology believe in

” Mughal–e–Azam banke banke history ban gayi hai,

Woh saare punjabiyone banayi hai, baat karte ho tum?

Punjabi Punjabi, saala, Bengali kuch bhi nahi hai kya?

Yeh sen, woh sen, yeh da, woh da, sab bengali hai

Saif ali.. kidar se aaya…  sab ke sab bengali hai ”

See this : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bm7fpKbGMks

The last one no poem, some slapstick fun from a Indian comic actor Johny Lever for Indian subcontinent and diaspora..

So dear friends ” Stay healthy, have no fights or conflicts, meet people you love and harbour no negative thought”

Yes have more fun 🙂

Goodnight friends! Have a lovely week ahead!

Love, Suresh

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

” Pour yourself a drink, put on some lipstick, and pull yourself together.”
―  Elizabeth Taylor

There is a Ranbir Kapoor advert which comes on television ” Boys ki life easy hai ( Life is easy for boys) ..”  Its moped advert ( Hero maestro). I think girls ki life bhi easy honi chahiye ( Life should be easy for girls too) 🙂

Just in fun, me don’t drink nor do endorse, red wine should be okay..

Have a lovely day!

Love, suresh

 

Hospital picture..

Mother and child

Both bundle of Joy

Home now with grand mom

The tired uncle

Back to where belongs

To work and nothingness

A hospital picture..

It is true children bring happiness, very happy for my sister..

I remain a stranger in my own house..

Goodnight friends! Have a happy week!

Love, suresh

 

International Women’s Day 2015

” In 2015, International Women’s Day, celebrated globally on 8 March, will highlight the Beijing Declaration and Platform for Action, a historic roadmap signed by 189 governments 20 years ago that sets the agenda for realizing women’s rights. While there have been many achievements since then, many serious gaps remain.

This is the time to uphold women’s achievements, recognize challenges, and focus greater attention on women’s rights and gender equality to mobilize all people to do their part. The Beijing Platform for Action focuses on 12 critical areas of concern, and envisions a world where each woman and girl can exercise her choices, such as participating in politics, getting an education, having an income, and living in societies free from violence and discrimination.  ”

Source : http://www.unwomen.org/en/news/in-focus/international-womens-day

Today is International women’s day and my humble individual experience is thus…

1. The only person that looked up to apart from my father has been a woman. She taught me to work hard, study hard and be generous. I met her in my early twenties and we were friends since she decided on a different course. The great Indian marriage. She remains my only infuence and reference apart my father.

2.  I have a sister. I have many sisters in my extended family. My sisters friends were also like sisters to me. I love them all and each one is lovely and gave one kindness and affection. I grew up around women. My life would have been soulless and poorer without them.

3. After my father passed away for seven years lived with my mother and sister. My brother was away rehabilitating in a different city. My mother and sister know me best. I still text my sister and ask what to eat when am unwell.

4. My most beloved and favorite teacher from school is a fine lady.

5. My best memory of school are boys and girls. Girls from school’s studied were lovely. They had no attitude of today, they were classy, intelligent and lovely.

6 When went to junior college, the jesuit school and college stopped taking girls, but the batch senior had girls, they were some of the loveliest women that have seen. I guess they became toppers and joined medical school. I remember them. They were such fine examples. The priest’s in any case do not know everything.

7. The only unconditional love that have felt is for women. I wish them well.

8. In my career the highest executive that have worked with is a fine and elegant lady.

9. My best friends are and have been women. They give the best advice. They are very kind.

10. My mother, my sister, my cousin sisters, my friends, my aunts. You see in my life women have been more kind to me than men. There have been numerous incidents in my life when a woman has had a kind word or gesture. The only men who have been kind to me is my manager, my father and a friend. Just three men.

So owe lot to women, am supporter of women’s right and feel girl child is not only special but most beautiful creation of god and universe, is there anything more beautiful and lovely? may be a flower, perhaps nature..

I feel organizations which truly inculcate diversity and have women in leadership roles are the best..

My own journey of life has taken me away from “ideologies and isms “. For me its a limited set. A null set.  I believe ”  truth is a direct experience of reality “. So am no ideologue, I believe the world has been unfair to women..

I believe the way women are treated in my country and else where is a disgrace. The greatest victims of atrocities are women and children. The most impoverished lot are women and children. It pains me no end..

If we can’t give a fair society to women and ensure their safety, we are Neanderthals or may be worse..

Nothing will change unless the mindset is changed,the outdated cultural codes,societal norms, religious beliefs,  the girl child needs to be focus of every government, every city council, every mayor, every parliament , every college, every school and dare i say every religion..

It is true educate a girl, the entire family progresses, the Grameen bank experiment is a triumph of girl child and women as much as of micro credit..

Women are societies  best hope aganist poverty and also extremist ideologies..

I love women. Does that mean have had no challenges with women, ofcourse  I have and my greatest personal challenges..

Does that mean there no bad women? of course there are, prisons are a testimony to that.. Just as there are good and bad men, there are good and bad women. But chances are women are much less likely to be deviant  in overall numbers. Thus more fairer in conduct and decision making..

Generally think men and women both need to grow as people, men need to shed their chauvinist behaviour and women their insecurities..

My journey states the spiritual growth in a individual can really help to see ” We are all one..” ( The Gita teaches ” Vasudhaiva Kutumbakam ” ” The whole world is one family” )

Then we will truly live in a just world.

My visits to hospitals have also taught me, women are a life force, life givers, care takers while men generally gloat..

Every woman is a tour de force, she is more capable than you think..

What can I say?

I owe everything to women, my father and my friends!

Happy International Women’s Day 2015 ! Have a lovely day friends!

Love, Suresh

Uncle..

I haven’t been able to post as regularly as would wish to. What have been upto apart from my normal complaints of being tired?  I have been working and visiting hospitals.  I look tired and am on hospital duty..

I have been spending after work hours in hospital. Yes my sister is mother of a baby girl now. The child is under observation and none of us save my sister has seen the child. I hope to see the child soon..

Neil Armstrong had said ” One small step for man, one giant step for mankind” as he stepped on moon, well for my family ” this is a giant step”..

I have written about my journey, to see my younger sister as a mom is a huge step, always considered her a child, now she has a child, so what does that make me, a grandfather haan ..:)

Iam a uncle now, Uncle Suresh…(  wonder is it like that bollywood movie, King Uncle, never mind..)

I have had no private life. I  always worked and focussed on family. OR. I have struggled and focussed on family. The family is a constant. I had decided pretty early some one would have to sacrifice. It would be me. Has my family life been picture perfect? No its broken, tempestuous, sincere but we are all binded by love.

I have understood love is both a private and a complex emotion. Eventhough its easy to be loving. It’s not easy to reconcile both. We are human. We all try to find a mix and our own way, we all learn, we do our best..

I am most happy about one more girl child in family, hope she gets better soon and we all get to see her..

Who knows if god wills me too might get lucky, it’s all god’s will..

Goodnight freinds! Hope you have a lovely weekend!

Love,Uncle Suresh