Archive | October, 2016

A song..

31 Oct

I am listening to this song..

This is a Tamil song and have spent some time working in Chennai..

I am grateful for every experience. It’s my destiny.  What’s my experience of the city …it loves cinema, women are beautiful with Kanjeevaram sarees and flowers, it has a  famous church…

I had met the Indian and Spanish hockey teams and saw a match with them…

The coach of Indian team had invited me for a break fast seeing me alone…

I met a flamenco guitar player..who became my friend

I did two of my best work there ..

Of course did it  quietly……like everything else..

This for one of my favorite actors – Vikram ( Chiyaan Vikram).. Check him out in the song.. It’s composed by a young composer Anirudh..

I am in a happy and peaceful space…

Much love and see you soon.



Happy Diwali

29 Oct

” I was 21 and had spent the last few years in Stanford University Engineering School at California. Many people advised me to take up a nice, cushy job rather than face the challenges of running a hydrogenated oil business. Looking back, I am glad I decided to take charge instead. Essentially leadership begins from within. It is a small voice that tells you where to go when you feel lost. If you believe in that voice, you believe in yourself.”

― Azim Premji

Azim Premji is an Indian entrepreneur( Wipro) whom admire for values and capacity for social good with philanthropic ventures in school & education.   I read this quote yesterday and wanted to share for you dear friends. Leadership begins within. We should trust our inner voice more..

I want to wish friends and every one kind enough to pass this space a Happy Diwali. From these parts on this day of festival of lights, hope every part of your life blooms with love and grace. Smile and stay happy for no reason. Reason may flow…

My apologies for not being regular as much wanted to be on blog. I am struggling with a infection and a punishing schedule. I love blogging and so miss it terribly. It’s the only voice that have. I will try to squeeze some time and energy. I will make it up at least on weekends.

I still struggle with some memories of life and the lonely and often turbulent path that have taken, the loneliness and struggle come back to me often as packets of synapses and sometimes it’s a trench that dig myself. I think there is no solution and am not sure if there is anything as permanent consciousness or everlasting meditation or grace. If there is, am not there yet. I have to battle with myself. I have no battles outside.

So is it all struggle? No at all..

Very early in life inspired by reading french philosophers, work of scientists, entrepreneurs and writers my goal was to take a original path and change the world. My failures are completely my own. My  humble success due to opportunities given by others. I wanted to do great work. I still have an opportunity and that have been trusted with a big opportunity in my organization, makes me excited and grateful…

Yes want to change the world. I may not have anything else, but the opportunity to work makes me happy. I need to do two things:

– Personal life : Be the person always was, naive, curious, naughty, loving, happy, quiet..

– Professional life -Be the person when started work self confident, vulnerable, irreverent, happy, belief..

I am grateful to all good memories and bad memories that have shaped me.

I hope am not self engrossed. Robert De Niro said in a talk ” Without pain , what is there to talk about..”

So wish you a happy weekend and festival of lights. I miss conversations and if you wish to comment on anything, please comment or reach out at : I will try to respond as soon as possible.

As for friends, please call….

Happy Diwali and much love. Suresh



Atul Gawande : Story & Purpose

19 Oct

“In the end, people don’t view their life as merely the average of all its moments—which, after all, is mostly nothing much plus some sleep. For human beings, life is meaningful because it is a story. A story has a sense of a whole, and its arc is determined by the significant moments, the ones where something happens. Measurements of people’s minute-by-minute levels of pleasure and pain miss this fundamental aspect of human existence. A seemingly happy life maybe empty. A seemingly difficult life may be devoted to a great cause. We have purposes larger than ourselves.”

― Atul Gawande, Being Mortal: Medicine and What Matters in the End

I have always wondered about  ” Have money, good clothes, travel…” generation of people. It’s wonderful to travel and please don’t get me wrong. I would love to travel and meet friends. Life has to be much more than a hedonistic urge. It has to have a purpose. Atul gawande is very right.

The problem is we do not choose our lives or determine our circumstances. We do choose our purposes. Every purpose bigger than self is good. Plant a tree, teach a child, care for sick and elderly, something beyond our narrow confines of self. These days even spiritual teachers wear glasses which scream ” Gucci” and talk about consciousness. Look its a game field. You decide what you want to do. What you want to be. No body is to be judged. But have a purpose..

Plant a tree. Give wings to a life. Something…

Think about that dear friends!

Have a good day!


Back to life..

15 Oct

The doctor asked me did you get your tests done? How’s your mother? You have a family history? did you ever get your blood sugar tests done?  I protested feebly ” I ate too many sweets today? I drank lemon with honey as am used to? He said to chuck it. Get tests done.

I realized my current lifestyle is not sustainable. I had spilled two cups of tea in office yesterday. I never did that earlier. I realized something was wrong.

– My almost 12 hours work day which includes commute is taking its toll. I do not have a solution  of now. I must make it less stressful.

– I wish to pursue excellence.  Not unbridled ambition. I want to focus on present. Results may take care of itself.

– I will never have those grades. I will never reach my early aspirations. I will never understand why loved ones made those decisions. I will never know why went through career transition. I will never understand why. I must accept and make peace.

– ” Too much love will kill you ” my favorite singer sang. I loved too much. Well …it still haunts me. I  wake up some times in a dream or feel vulnerable while driving. I must make peace and accept for sake of health. I can never stop loving them though.

– I like my simple life – run, read and pray. Street food on weekends . I need to find two hours for myself. One hour to run or walk. Half an hour to read and half an hour to blog or just laze. I need to do that.

– I am not young. I cannot behave like young. I must take care of myself.

– I will stop eating sweets, biscuits, fruit bread all of which ate in last two days like a mad man. I somewhere have behavioral traits of a male stray dog guess. Mindless excitement for nothing and laziness.

– I will stop drinking mindless coffee cups from coffee machine at work. I did that keep my eyes open in a project. I will stick to green tea at home.

– I will do my best at work mindfully. I do not need any praise or rewards. I  want to work and  want my health back..that’s all.

– Procrastination has been my biggest weakness. I really need to address that and do what have to do. This should really help. I will try my best.

–  I need to talk to my two friends once a week. At least once in a fortnight. They are good for my health.

– I must find right companion. I think this is destiny. But then our will is god’s will…

– I do feel  happy when hear from my sister or talk to my brother.

So let’s hope do this. Then may be go for tests.

My little plan to salvage life.

Good night dear friends. My state today.

Have a good day!

Love, Suresh

Rafael Nadal : Confidence and happiness

13 Oct

“Confidence is when you win. Losing, you don’t have confidence. Winning, you have confidence. Being happy is  away from the tennis court. Life is much more than tennis, for me. It’s true that the tennis has been for the last, I’d say, 20 years, a important part of my life, but in life there is a lot of more important things than just the game. Happiness is other things: the health of your family, the people who you love, and health of them.”

― Rafael Nadal @ Shanghai Rolex masters , Times of India , October 11, 2016

I read this quote and very much wanted to share this for you dear friends. I feel the same. My vision of life has been a happy healthy loving family. Hopefully my dream would come true. Nevertheless we must stay true to our vision. Even the very great’s have confidence issues and struggle is same for every one. Rafael Nadal inspires me always with his hard working game and innate goodness.

Work is just one part of life and it can get all encompassing especially for middle class. But life is truly health and happiness of loved ones.

I wish you good health and happiness always.

Have a good day!

Love, Suresh


Short break

7 Oct

Dear friends have been laid low by a infection and  work, apologies for break and will resume blogging soon as manage to gather little energy. Till then stay good and be well.

Have a good day!

Love, Suresh