Archive | November, 2016


26 Nov

Now the flames they followed Joan of Arc
as she came riding through the dark;
no moon to keep her armour bright,
no man to get her through this very smoky night.
She said, “I’m tired of the war,
I want the kind of work I had before,
a wedding dress or something white
to wear upon my swollen appetite.”

― Leonard Cohen, Joan of Arc

I think the world that you truly belong is the imaginary world. Every thing is congruent and synchronized. You can  be what ever. You make love. You travel. Money is no currency. There are no right and wrongs. It’s a good world. I lived there most my life. “He lives in his own world” a friend said long time ago. Was he a friend? Never mind..

– When I was young, I was young. I wasn’t very good. They told me all the time. The good people. Now that am older, walked through pain, they tell me am old. What is this? Did I miss life. I am not old. I don’t feel old. More and more am guided towards leading a full life. I must live my life. I know what that is..

– The body needs rest for a day. If you are lucky you can keep the mechanism well oiled and receptive. The master said prophetically. Saturday is the day. But my mother wants me to do hospital visits on Saturday. You see have had no chance.

– . The government has left me poor. I always have been. I feel the policy makers need to be inclusive. Government is not a corporation. It cannot have a single strategy. America are you listening? You can learn from demonetization…

–  I spoke to little boy again. He was my brother’s friend for a long time. He came to visit brother everyday.He was just a boy. A very kind loving boy. I was so grateful to him for many years. I spoke to him after five or six years. The boy spoke to me with same love and good will. Many grown ups are not kind. The little boy was kind. I will always cherish times spent with you Manjunath.

– My worst work day is better than my regular life. I think it’s true. It doesn’t say much about my life. I need to discover life. Although like sun, walk, bike and freedom.  I want to find the center of my own orbit.

– My teeth showed me how neglectful have been. I did not care for myself. I hoped somebody would. Now that’s wrong.

– I think two people. If they both think they are wrong. They can have a relationship. If you always say ” I am right…” and the other also says ” I am right..” There is no hope. I have always felt am wrong and if something has gone wrong it’s my fault.

You know every one has a vision, love is never a problem, it’s just people have different priorities, but the heart never relents. Sometimes you join hands, you care. and that is beautiful.

This for today.I saw a brilliant interview with English sub titles of a European composer who spoke ” Our vibrations need a central reference…”

I found that in Leonard Cohen. Now that my master is gone. I will look upto my teacher.

Have a good day dear friends!

Love, Suresh




Escape to kindness

21 Nov

“A heavy burden lifted from my soul,
I heard that love was out of my control.”

― Leonard Cohen, Stranger Music: Selected Poems and Songs

Sometimes escape from my routine. I take a train and a bus to another city. I prefer the simple life and communal feeling of a train or a bus. I am okay with discomfort as along as it’s real.  What did I see or notice..

– I saw a  young girl in a Burkha. She had a turquoise blue watch, college bag and removed face wrap for a while and took selfies. Just a very pretty every day girl. She was reading Cecelia Ahern ” P.S. I Love You.”.  Why the Burkha thought? may be it’s a choice , may be she has to straddle two worlds : inner world and one of tradition

– I go ask for a auto rickshaw ( common man’s car) and he say’s a obscene fare. I am surprised the city is known to be fair. I walk ahead and take another one. I ask a fellow woman passenger and she guides me to my destination. She tells me to get down at mid point and take a bus. I wave her good bye. I like simple goodness.

– I reach my destination early and look for a place for breakfast. It’s turns out to be a good South Indian restaurant. I ask them ” Can I pay by debit card “. He says ” Yes”. Every one is dealing with demonetization.

– I meet my friend and have a good conversation. I take the local train. I get boxed by multiple  Mike Tyson, Evander Holyfield of all sizes for fifteen minutes. The rush hour local train. It’s been a long time.

– Finally meet a good man and take the evening train back. I will do anything for kindness. If you are kind. I’ll travel to meet you. My world is small. Few kind people and every day hustle and bustle of life.

– I see little kids fighting in train, read a article on demonetization in India Today” Why the government is big and  policy measures primarily needs to ensure there no bad consequences… as it’s reach is long rather than bravado…and more.” It was by an ex.chief economic advisor. It was good.

– I reach home by taking another local train. I strain my teeth by eating minor nonsense. I might look like a Dracula for a day tomorrow till get my tooth filling done.

Some pictures..


One more in train


I remember ” Our fortune may be built on very place of  our  misfortunes of the past…”

This for today. Have a good week dear friends!

Love, Suresh

Take this longing

19 Nov

I have come to terms with master’s passing away. I keep myself buried in work. I come home to see my mother and brother at night. Their innocent faces keep me rooted. Sometimes on a weekend visit my sister and we play with her child.  Some more thoughts..

– I have a day job. The temperament is different there and it’s almost do or die to get results. It’s tough and needs skills. My only armory is zen like focus, a dash of courage and hard work. Even the words that are used are ” We need you to take a stab at…”. Who is that Chinese military guy who wrote ” The Art of war”…never mind. The corporate job.

–  I started keeping a photograph of a memory that haunted me for a long time. I thought immediacy of a picture might help. I don’t know. I have read too much on consciousness. I have found a broken peace.

– The country has embarked on a demonetization drive. Suddenly there is a commonality. The whole country seems poor. Do the rich, politicians, BMW owners stand in a queue outside banks? Will the country benefit? God only knows or may be astrologers do..

–  America has a new president. What can i say? electorates is always right and not so right.The operating rule is electioneering is different from governance .So there might be some hope and some results. Good luck America. I love you. We had prime ministers too, you will be fine. You know, even a bird in China has a similar hairstyle…

– I miss start ups. Nobody asks you there which college you went to which is pretty much the theme song of all large companies. This love song plays till retirement. I keep thinking about my roots and my place..

– I must say some times am stunned by experiences. We are shaped by our experiences. I want to make life count.

– I need to rest and take care of body like all ageing sportsmen and sports women do. I need to recuperate and feel healthy .  There is a guy who has started walking ramp at 80 in China. He says ” I do what ever I feel like..”  Man what is that….

– I went to temple with my mother today. I like going with her. My life & work is only because of my mother’s prayers. I feel grateful.

– I must have the experiences which have never had, the longing continues…

” Just take this longing from my tongue ,all the lonely things my hands have done.
Let me see your beauty broken down ,like you would do for one you love..”

―  Leonard Cohen, Take this longing

I have always felt the master’s truth ”  to locate a self, a self that that is not fixed, a self that struggles for its own existence..”

As for longing it continues. ” like you would do for one you love..”

This for today. Stay happy and be well dear friends!

Have a good day!

Love, Suresh

My hero

11 Nov


I am sad today. I go to work every day. I smile at others as it is my nature. I feel empty. My friends are like soul friends. They instinctively know and reach out to me from places far. They know ” I loved Leonard Cohen.” I speak to them and feel better. Leonard Cohen  gave me a sense of belonging. A place to locate my self. A dignity to my struggle.

I  remember was very happy when a music shop owner seeing my liking for Leonard Cohen LP’s & albums told me and my friend that he had met Leonard Cohen in Bombay and had a cup of tea with the unassuming singer. Leonard Cohen was a visitor to a spiritual teacher Ramesh Balsekar in the nineties.

For the last fifteen years whenever felt a sense of weakness or acute helplessness. I listened to a Leonard Cohen song, read a article, interview, poem or a quote and felt better. It always gave me a grace and dignity to existence. That’s why loved Leonard Cohen.

I did many posts, posted songs, interviews and named my blog ” Never lament casually” as as my deep reverence and love for Leonard Cohen.

My blog got maximum hits on two occasions, the day Robin Williams passed away and today as the beloved master moves another realm.

I do no think there is a better poet – songwriter.

I do not think there is any one with truer insights.

I am Sad. I will continue my struggle in “strict confines of beauty and dignity.”

Thank you for helping me locate a voice. A self.

I love you immensely.

Sincerely, Suresh


Me too…

4 Nov


I read this today…..

I went through things that didn’t deserve…

I didn’t deserve the anxiety…

I didn’t deserve loneliness..

I didn’t deserve to lose dear ones…

I didn’t deserve the desperate moments..

I didn’t deserve the career transition..

I didn’t deserve …..

It perhaps shaped me and am run by a deeper impulse of coming good… I have to make it count..

“We don’t know what we want to serve unless the emergency becomes articulate.” says the master in a recent interview. ( Leonard Cohen)

Most of all what has stunned me is good intentions don’t work…

The good news is right deeds do work.

Perseverance, grit, reason to serve, living up to others trust & faith, are the tools….

Yes sounds cheesy but I want everything that I deserve..

Yes I want everything that is whole of me if not more..

Yes I want what deserve…

My place in the world..

My share of world…

“Yes, I deserve a spring –I owe nobody nothing.”
― Virginia Woolf, A Writer’s Diary

This for today dear friends! And you dear friend, you want to join me?

Good night dear friends! Have a good  weekend!

Love, Suresh