Archive | August, 2014

A yearning for grace ( Preamble and Pictures)

31 Aug

” Sometimes a deep appetite for prayer arises and I pray. Where my prayer is addressed. I would not dare to say. I wouldn’t dare to try to describe where my prayer is aimed..”

― Leonard Cohen ( Please refer earlier post Beautiful Interview: Leonard Cohen NRK-2)

I feel the same as the master. I have a yearning for grace. I pray. I surrender. A prayer. A poem.

I wrote about ” Preamble” ( New chapter) , so much of life is in public domain, need grace, as always.

Iam guided. I pray for you. I pray for beloved. I pray for friends! I pray for family. Mine. Yours.

I do not know where my prayer is addresed, my heart seeks a grace, this is a yearning for grace.

 

Yearning for grace:

I walk my path

I see the vision

I found the discipline

I feel the love

Then a yearning for grace

 

I walked many miles

I met many faces

I have known the hunger

I feel the undying love

I never knew the consequences

This time, a yearing for grace

 

I plough the fields

I pray for better yields

What then? they say,

everybody does

My brow saddened,

my tears disguised in a graceless sweat

This time, then a yearing for grace

 

You spoke to me

A childhood grace

I felt saddened

Such a lonesome child-heroine

I prayed a silent prayer

My heart open to embrace

I wondered which fairy

Took you away or

Was it a well meaning brute

This time, then a yearing for grace

 

I don’t mind the mockery

I do not mind ridicule

My father died long ago

In my arms, you know in my arms

Iam that child, that then went to bank

To collect a dead pay cheque

This time, then a yearing for grace

 

I have never been scared

Oh yes, but for the vertigo

I have splinters and scars

I have never lost the love

Dear Mr. Industry

I have the assignments

I have done white papers

Do not put me to those minor alexanders

This time, then a yearing for grace

 

I pray for a grace

I  do my part as always

I pray for you

I pray for love

I pray for friends

I pray for family

I pray for grace

This time, do not forget me

This time then, do not forget me

please do not forget me.

This time, then a yearing for grace

 

I wrote a preamble

I want to see it to fruition

I play my part

I love the unconditioned love

I work the healing

Please send a gracious angel

Please send a beautiful fairy

I yearn for grace

God, This then for you,

a yearning for grace..

 

These are my thoughts  today dear friends. I hold on to ” Preamble”. I seek grace..

I went for my dear friends reception today. I wish him well and very best in life. I stopped by the watch store. I dont know why my watch had stopped functioning.  I took some pictures for you dear friends..

 

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To distract myself from watches, which can’t afford, besides do not need, take pictures.

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I take  pictures as my watch gets repaired, besides  guys in store are friendly, they know me..

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I take final one as leave the store. I am tempted to check some skagen pieces as step out..

This is for my friends and all of you dear friends. And I love you!

I yearn a yearning for grace..

Have a easy Sunday! Thank you!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Preamble ( New Chapter)

30 Aug

” I want to write a new preamble for myself”. I had written in my post on “Dylan Song : My Back Pages” ( The Traveling Wilburys).

New Chapter

” Live the present etta….Live this life like a still unexplored part of Suresh Nair.”

― Chandru ( Chandrasekharan Nair, 23, little cousin brother)

“Etta” in my native malyalam is ” Elder brother”. My little cousin brother is my hero. I feel talking to him is like a message from pure land of buddha and kingdom of God of Christ. He is innocent and intelligent. This was in response to a remark by me to him, ” If born again, would be want to be like him.” My cousin is a graduate asistant at Georgia Institute of Technology.

So this is my guiding preamble ” Live in the present and live life like a still unexplored part of Suresh.” My father would have been happy with this guideline. My father’s words ” Do something lasting and permanent ” was my guiding preamble long ago. I feel children and young people are  God’s messengers on earth. I like spending time with them. I have nothing but love for them.

Live in the present:

-To accept the present as something wilfully chosen” is a message learnt from writings of Eckhart Tolle. I always practiced this subconsciously. I really think his message  is special. ( ” Accept – then act. What ever the present moment contains, accept it as if you had chosen it. Always work with it, not against it.” ― Eckhart Tolle). This gave me perspective in many of forced transitions. None of which was my wish. Life has its own flow. If we embrace ” every happening” even if its painful. It’s hardwork. Eventually we will be fine.

– My past has both beautiful and painful memories. I acknowledge my past.  But ” Past has passed.” I am grateful for every experience. I did not have this wisdom. I struggled for two decades. I accept my unique destiny.

– To feel light, happy and peaceful. I feel we must bless every experience of our lives and bear no grudges.  Leonard Cohen in a interview spoke about a manager who defrauded him ” Iam still rather fond of her..”. I understand that.

– Age gracefully. I am forty three year old and my wish is only to be the best forty three year old that can be physically, emotionally and physiologicaly. I walk and run when it’s not raining.  I meditate. I read. I feel good. I don’t compete with anyone. The only time  felt old was when  turned twenty seven!! For some strange reason thought was old! I stopped counting since. I feel happy.

-My only regret is not doing justice to studying. I wonder why took the path of  “self learning”. I was restless and read everything. I wish had done justice to education. I later discovered my country rewards mediocre education handsomely. I should have done so much better.  This is my only regret. I have no other regrets. I always gave my best in work and relationships. Rest is destiny.

– Grateful. Every one has favorite people. People we love for  no reason. I met all people whom loved. So am happy. Be it people from my school. Be it doctors ( Whom admired in my early youth). Be it a Company ( Amazon). Be it beauracracy. Be it Journalism.  So am happy.  I only want to meet Google, Leonard Cohen and people whom love..

Live this life like a still unexplored part of Suresh :

I learnt we must create possibilities for transformation. As my little brother says ”  live this life like a still unexplored part of Suresh.” What are my still unexplored parts?

– Family: I have been dedicated to my late father, my mother, my brother and my sister. I would want a normal family of my own. I am a family person. It is a dream for me. My own world. Its a still unexplored part.

-Travel: I would love to travel. I could not attempt same due to my commitments. I wish to travel. It is dream for me. It is also a possibility that want to create. It is a still unexplored part.

-Buy a House: I want to buy a new home. It will make my mother happy. I want to fulfill her wish. I feel sad when she is unhappy with me.  Because that is not my intention. I want to give her a new home. That will make her happy.It is a still unexplored part.

-Education: I want to enroll for courses for studying. I will stop “self learning”. I will invest in education. I also want to study ” Mental health rehabilitation” and ” Sports psychology.”  I would love to volunteer with a ” Rehablilation home”  and coach with a “sports club.”It is a still unexplored part.

-Write a Book: I want to write books. I only write a blog now. I also write for my self  learning in pocket books. I want to be a writer and write a book.It is a still unexplored part.

-Fear of Heights:  I have  one fear : Vertigo. I am scared of heights. I fell down from a mountain hill in my hometown. I had climbed a water tank. I also fell down from a peak in a popular hill station in secondary school. I am just horrified of heights. I don’t know why? I want to overcome fear of heights.

-Volunteer: Volunteer seriously and regularly with a institution. My interest is ” mental health rehabilitation”.

-Internship : To study ” sports psychology” and intern or voulnteer with a ” Sports club”

-Public speaking : I want to practice public speaking. Its been long time and am getting paranoid. I must do it. I too have a message…

-Dating : I have been in hibernation. Anybody interested let me know 🙂

I started with a preamble and wrote a draft of constitution 🙂

All of above will be nullified. If I meet  ” assholes” 🙂 The best reference of same,” Dogs” Pink floyd song lyrics : http://www.pink-floyd-lyrics.com/html/dogs-animals-lyrics.html

I think if someone can write a software based on above song. That will be a service to humanity.

I hope to create possibilities inspired by my little cousin brother. I promise to be dedicated to this preamble. I dedicate this to my cousin brother ” Chandru” who inspires me with his purity and quest for excellence. I also dedicate this  to my life long friends. They know who they are. I wish to meet my school friends. I hope you wish me luck.  Stay blessed!

Hope you have a lovely day dear friends!

Thank you!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Video

Peter Gabriel & Kate Bush -Don’t Give Up

29 Aug

I felt like listening to a Peter Gabriel song and here is a great song by the great artiste and Kate Bush ” Don’t Give Up”

Don’t Give Up : Peter Gabriel and Kate Bush

In this proud land we grew up strong
We were wanted all along
I was taught to fight, taught to win
I never thought I could fail

No fight left or so it seems
I am a man whose dreams have all deserted
I’ve changed my face, I’ve changed my name
But no-one wants you when you lose

Don’t give up
‘cos you have friends
Don’t give up
You’re not beaten yet
Don’t give up
I know you can make it good

Though I saw it all around
Never thought that I could be affected
Thought that we’d be last to go
It is so strange the way things turn

Drove the night toward my home
The place that I was born, on the lakeside
As daylight broke, I saw the earth
The trees had burned down to the ground

Don’t give up
You still have us
Don’t give up
We don’t need much of anything
Don’t give up
’cause somewhere there’s a place
Where we belong
Rest your head
You worry too much
It’s going to be alright
When times get rough
You can fall back on us
Don’t give up
Please don’t give up

Got to walk out of here
I can’t take any more
Going to stand on that bridge
Keep my eyes down below
Whatever may come
And whatever may go
That river’s flowing
That river’s flowing

Moved on to another town
Tried hard to settle down
For every job, so many men
So many men no-one needs

Don’t give up
’cause you have friends
Don’t give up
You’re not the only one
Don’t give up
No reason to be ashamed
Don’t give up
You still have us
Don’t give up now
We’re proud of who you are
Don’t give up
You know its never been easy
Don’t give up
’cause I believe there’s a place
There’s a place where we belong

This is a beautiful song of despair and hope. I think we all need someone who see’s the world with us and from our eyes and then lifts us up…
They are our parents, friends, soul mates..
Goodnight friends! Hope you have a lovely day!
Thank you!

 

 

Video

The Traveling Wilburys : My Back Pages

28 Aug

” Ah, but I was so much older then
I’m younger than that now “

I came across this brilliant song and act only yesterday. The super act comprises of great artistes and the song is brilliant.  Please see this  Dylan song

My Back Pages : Bob Dylan

Crimson flames tied through my ears
Rollin’ high and mighty traps
Pounced with fire on flaming roads
Using ideas as my maps
“We’ll meet on edges, soon,” said I
Proud ’neath heated brow
Ah, but I was so much older then
I’m younger than that now

Half-wracked prejudice leaped forth
“Rip down all hate,” I screamed
Lies that life is black and white
Spoke from my skull. I dreamed
Romantic facts of musketeers
Foundationed deep, somehow
Ah, but I was so much older then
I’m younger than that now

Girls’ faces formed the forward path
From phony jealousy
To memorizing politics
Of ancient history
Flung down by corpse evangelists
Unthought of, though, somehow
Ah, but I was so much older then
I’m younger than that now

A self-ordained professor’s tongue
Too serious to fool
Spouted out that liberty
Is just equality in school
“Equality,” I spoke the word
As if a wedding vow
Ah, but I was so much older then
I’m younger than that now

In a soldier’s stance, I aimed my hand
At the mongrel dogs who teach
Fearing not that I’d become my enemy
In the instant that I preach
My pathway led by confusion boats
Mutiny from stern to bow
Ah, but I was so much older then
I’m younger than that now

Yes, my guard stood hard when abstract threats
Too noble to neglect
Deceived me into thinking
I had something to protect
Good and bad, I define these terms
Quite clear, no doubt, somehow
Ah, but I was so much older then
I’m younger than that now

This 1964 song is  written by a twenty three year old Bob Dylan!!!!! It seems apt for me now, am old, ancient forty three…..
My school friend who is no more told me when we were young , ” some people are born old and you are that way and he would give analogy of a yesteryear Bollywood movie star ( Raj Kapoor) alluding to thinking…” This when we were teenagers, its sad my friend couldn’t cope with challenges of time, me survived. Let’s just say , his name was Milind. He was a good soul. He would meet me. Too sensitive.
This song is also about forsaking some of those fiery ideals, to see the world in black and white..
Bob Dylan is such a good poet , please see ” Fearing not that I’d become my enemy/In the instant that I preach..” or ” A self-ordained professor’s tongue/Too serious to fool…”
The superact ” The Traveling Wilburys”  is just what it is, greatness ++++++….Bob Dylan, George Harrison, Neil Young, Tom Petty & Eric Clapton…
I wrote about my hometown yesterday and schools, life till sixteen, let’s say life from sixteen to thirty was patchwork, thirty till date survival, and am going to live and live well now onwards…
I want to write  a new “preamble” for myself..
I have faith and do not feel old…
I feel young and hopefully accumulated some good karma..
I hope you have faith and believe in me too, cos…
” Ah, but I was so much older then
I’m younger than that now”..
This is such a brilliant song and act. Hope you like this as much as enjoyed sharing dear friends. This also for my freind.
Have a lovely day! Thank you!

 

 

 

My Home Town

27 Aug

” I was eight years old and running with a dime in my hand
Into the bus stop to pick up a paper for my old man
I’d sit on his lap in that big old Buick and steer as we drove through town
He’d tousle my hair and say son take a good look around this is your hometown
This is your hometown
This is your hometown
This is your hometown…”

( MY HOMETOWN/BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN)

I would listen to this song often in my adolescence. I had gone to visit an uncle and aunt’s twenty fifth marriage anniversary. It was in my hometown.  The town where spent first fourteen years of my life. I went for a  early morning walk to see my hometown. It’s a government estate. It had two stadiums. Two  recreation clubs. One tennis court. One indoor Badminton court. A unit run canteen. A market. Trees. A hill. A water tank atop a hill. It’s still the same after all these years. Life never changes in a government estate.

I had a good simple life in my hometown. I would walk to school with my friend and his sister. Listening to them was like listening to carnatic music. Sometimes my friends father would drop us for functions in his Lambretta. Me and my friend were like Laurel and Hardy. We were entertainment for him. In a weird way, my friends father was also my friend. My father had a additional charge of a unit run canteen. I would go to meet him and collect stuff for my school teachers. My teachers would give me thier list ( chocolates, biscuits,soaps,talcum powder, tooth paste) which would carry in my school bag. My bag would be bigger than me. I played badminton and chess with my  uncle and older boys.  I would go to a public library to read. I was once sent to a coaching class for math, ran away very first day. I discovered my teacher ( Ramu) was squint and everytime he looked at a wall. I thought he looked at me. I gave this stupid reason to discontinue my class.  My father forgave me laughingly. My father was very good to me.  Sadly have lost contact with all my friends from that time … I remember the names, Kuntal, Rajdeep, Ramaswamy, Nisha, Ipsita, Muthu Kumar ( school walk friend), Abhirami ( His sister), Mr. Subramanium ( My friends father), Pradeep, Bhuvanesh, Bhuvanesh’s sisters…..

I took some pictures from my morning walk.

 

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This is a laundry shop from British times. This is on my way to school.

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I think people walk regardless of sign boards. I saw two joggers coming from restricted lane.

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I walked till exit end of estate and requested security guard to take a picture. He asked about me and my father. In a estate everybody tries to know everyone else. I murmur that left long time ago. He wishes me for my walk. I thank him.

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These residences used to be part of my school premises. Now its residence of chief medical officer ( CMO) of the estate.

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I keep walking and take pictures of lane opposite my erstwhile school.

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More pictures of lane. My daily walk to school from another era.

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I take more pictures. The good thing about a government eastate is , it is invariably green and gives a good quality of life.

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I like long roads. So take more pictures as keep walking.

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I like marshy lands. The place for minor adventure as children. So take a picture.

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This is a Bus stop. Believe it or not. It looks like a extended scarecrow. It’s older than me.  I wonder whose moped was parked there..

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I take a one more picture of my morning walk.

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That is my uncle and aunt cutting their silver jubilee anniversary cake.  Their two children Reshma and Rahul are on the right, my very young brother and sister. My uncle is a government servant, Teacher, Chess player and Badminton player rolled into one. Very Bright man. The two little girls are twins. Neighbours child.

I wonder how life has passed me by. My best phases of life were till sixteen. Maybe everybody’s same perhaps. I think of times passed by, struggles later on and come with some conclusion as is my wont. My life was:

  • Innocuous
  • Restless
  • Fun
  • Idealist

I have overcome my restlessness and found some peace. Atleast tools for peace.  Iam calmer.

Iam still innocuous though do not suffer fools gladly. Life made me latter. Former is my DNA. I still like fun.

Iam idealist by conduct and design. I would like to learn to be practical. I would like to improve. I like practical people. I like every one.

My little formative life dear friends. I went for my uncle’s function. I met my relatives. I had a happy few days. As for memories, they always linger, some good, some painful, another time, another era, another you..

Hope you have a lovely day dear friends!

Thank you!

 

 

 

 

 

Maria Sharapova: The Incredible Champion ( Story & Winning Spirit)

26 Aug

I admire Maria Sharapova and Serena Williams. They are champions, beautiful, strong and have won everything game and life has to offer. They still fight for every point on the court as if its  match point. I liked Justine Henin too.  I came across a article ” Maria Sharapova’s Guide to Life Success” ( SELF magazine) and a really nice feature and interview ” Holding Court ” (NET- A – PORTER) with Maria Sharapova. I want to share thoughts and extracts from same for you dear freinds along with a article ” Maria Sharapova’s winning spirit”( Healthy Hollywood).

Maria sharapova

” Sharapova is a hellion on the court—as those who’ve watched her since she stormed onto the women’s tennis tour 10 years ago, snatching victory from Serena Williams in a historic match, already know. She’s no slouch off the court, either: In the last decade, deal by deal, venture by venture, she’s become Brand Maria, extending her reach into fashion, philanthropy, beauty, even sweets, and topping the 2014 Forbes list of the world’s highest-paid female athletes.

After Sharapova, leggy and hugely ambitious, achieved that 2004 milestone, she could easily have shared the same fate as other players whose games never lived up to their marketing. And the marketing came on strong, dubbed Maria Mania, with an immediate Motorola deal and Sports Illustrated cover. But Sharapova turned out to have a vision that was both wide and deep: She signed those deals, and she continued to put in the hard work, developing a signature swing volley, a monster forehand and a shriek so loud when she made the tough shots that some have speculated it’s simply a tactic to rattle her opponents. ” ( SELF/ Alexandra Marshall)

Maria Sharapova:

” I have a competitive drive. It’s ferocious and powerful, and it’s about winning.”

” I was very inexperienced. But I was not nervous at all. As soon as I got out there onto the court, it was like I had horse blinders on. You get this narrow vision.”

” When I’m out on the court, I’m not thinking about how I look. I do my ponytail in two seconds, and I’m not wearing a stitch of makeup. I’m confident in my skin, and I’m there to play the game. ”

” Designing for the mass market has really changed my thinking process and my on-court look. Even if I want to be the one pushing fashion on the court, today I want to do it in a way that a woman playing in a doubles league can wear, too.”

( SELF/ ALEXANDRA MARSHALL)

” In today’s world all women have so many challenges, so many things to do on a daily basis from career to family. And, it’s always a juggling act. It’s always balancing yourself with other people around you. At the end of the day, I think SELF Made is that inner voice inside of you that keep you going, keep pushing you to strive for the best in everything that you do.”

” I was exposed to so many things and you always have to make choices and at the end of the day you never quite know and you’re always questioning yourself whether it’s the right or wrong choice. But I try to always be me and be natural and you face expectations but you have to face them from within rather than from the outside world.”

” The good thing is I can expose all of that on the tennis court. And once I get off the court I can be a bit more mellow. And I have this little yellow fuzzy ball to hit as hard as I can which usually gets rid of a lot of emotions. It’s funny because when I go on the court, no matter what goes in life, I always use it as a learning experience for me. Even though I’ve been doing it since I was four years old. Of course, I take out everything.”

” Sometimes it all comes to a point where it’s too much or you let yourself get overly involved in things. I think everybody goes through it. I think the best way to out of it is perspective. It’s the toughest way to think of things. But, it’s a perspective on life. And you just need to turn on CNN to get a little bit of perspective in life, really. And I’ve been in enough hotel rooms in my life to see a lot of CNN,”

( HEALTHY HOLLYWOOD: MARIA SHARAPOVA’S WINNING SPIRIT/ TERRI MACLEOD)

” I live a simple life. I’ve always lived by beaches, with my home here, and my home in Sarasota, Florida, where people don’t bother me much. People seem to respect athletes that way.”

” The thing that my parents taught me was that they were completely fine with going back to Russia, to the life we had before. The biggest gift they gave me was a sense of reality. They saw that I had potential, and they knew there were sacrifices we had to make. But they never imagined how far we could go. ”

” I just love seeing the process. I love the creative aspect, the business, understanding why things work. When I was younger, I thought I might be an architect. I’m very interested in design.”

” Besides my parents, all of my relatives are in Russia. When I’m in the house and my parents are home, I speak Russian. If I ask my mother to cook a meal, it’s a Russian meal. I have friends all over the world and homes here in the US, but the way I speak and think is very Russian.I’m accustomed to the lifestyle here, but ultimately, it’s just the feeling you have inside.”

” When my mother first came to the US, she couldn’t believe how many malls there were.We would go shopping – a lot. She would always pick out something soft and simple, in cream or beige. I would say, ‘But what about these prints? They’re so exciting.’ And she’d say, ‘But I’ll have this one for a very long time.’ And now my aesthetic is the same. I love well-tailored basic pieces that I can put together in many different ways.”

” I like to think of the 80/20 balance. Not just for the body, but for the mind. If I can be disciplined 80 percent of the time, and then relax for 20 percent, I’ll be alright. ”

( HOLDING COURT/ CHRISTINE LENNON /NET- A – PORTER)

― MARIA SHARAPOVA

Please see :  “Maria Sharapova’s Guide to Life Success” : http://www.self.com/body/celebrity/2014/08/maria-sharapova-tennis-star-guide-successful-life/

Please see:  ” Healthy Hollywood: Maria Sharapova’s winning spirit” : http://www.accesshollywood.com/healthy-hollywood-maria-sharapovarsquos-winning-spirit_article_97892

Please see: ” Holding Court” : http://www.net-a-porter.com/magazine/261/10

I want to share a extract from the really nice feature and  interview  from ” NET- A – PORTER” magazine :

” At the age of six, Sharapova was living in Sochi, Russia, when she went to a tennis clinic and was spotted by sporting great Martina Navratilova. Just one year later, she left home for the US to train at the famed IMG Academy in Bradenton, Florida. Her mother, Yelena, stayed in Russia, while her father, Yuri, who spoke not a word of English, traveled with her and worked a variety of odd jobs to pay for his daughter’s lessons. Two years later, her mother moved stateside as well. The family gamble paid off. “The thing that my parents taught me was that they were completely fine with going back to Russia, to the life we had before. The biggest gift they gave me was a sense of reality,” says Sharapova. “They saw that I had potential, and they knew there were sacrifices we had to make. But they never imagined how far we could go.” ( CHRISTINE LENNON /NET- A – PORTER)

Isn’t it a great human story?

Incredibly brave, driven and selfless parents who would do everything for a  child’s future who was six year old, even relocating to a faraway land…

In a way Maria Sharapova’s success is epic. I have always liked her single minded intensity on court. That she is beautiful is a bonus. I have only admiration for all other business ventures of one so young and so smart.

Maria Sharapova is a incredible champion. Hope the story and single minded quest for excellence of a champion inspires you dear friends as it does me.

Hope you have a lovely day dear friends! ” 80/20 balance is great. 80 percent disciplined. 20 percent relaxed”. I guess 100 percent rooted and focussed also..

Thank you!

 

 

 

 

 

Short break

23 Aug

I will be away from blogging for three days and am travelling to attend a family function. One of my uncle and aunt is celebrating their 25th marriage anniversary. I will be back on 26 th Tuesday. Be good and stay blessed dear friends! If you miss me, do let me know 🙂

Have a lovely weekend! Thank you!