Fourth anniversary & interim break

17 Apr

Today is my fourth Blogging anniversary with WordPress. This would follow a interim break unless feel rejuvenated to come back to blogging.  My current thought dictates:

– I have laid down my experiences thread bare and with sincerity.  I need new experiences and new understanding.

– There is a new generation whose voices and experiences needs to be heard more.

– There is too much suffering in real world and it pretty much pales our daily struggles.

– I started blogging in 2013 on friends suggestion, many a times  in these four years  it       gave me something to look forward ,a purpose and discipline.  It kept me sane when  was giving  interviews or family was sick or when was sad.

– It gave me a form and a expression. It is also cathartic and heals.

So wish you a interim good bye dear friends, am grateful to every one who has come this way, much love and wishes to every one of you.

Remember me…

” Ah remember me, I used to live for music
Remember me, I brought your groceries in ..

suresh 2017

” I’d really like to live beside you, baby
I love your body and your spirit and your clothes
But you see that line there moving through the station?
I told you, I told you, told you, I was one of those….”

( Leonard Cohen, First we take Manhattan)

What can I say ?

– Elon Musk runs Tesla, Space X and SolarCity.  We should all be inspired to do more.

-“Pain + Reflection = Progress” ― Ray Dalio, Principles

-The famous violinist Nathan Milstein wrote: “Practice as much as you feel you can accomplish with concentration. Once when I became concerned because others around me practiced all day long, I asked [my mentor] Professor Auer how many hours I should practice, and he said, ‘It really doesn’t matter how long. If you practice with your fingers, no amount is enough. If you practice with your head, two hours is plenty.’” ―K. Anders Ericsson,Michael J. Prietula,Edward T. Cokely, The making of an Expert

– ” None of us does anything by ourselves. For scientists, we have had mentors and we have had people we have randomly connected with that have influenced us in our lives. We never achieve anything by ourselves, we achieve it with the help of  community of people around us.” ― Dr. Venki Ramakrishnan, Nobel Laureate for chemistry, 2009

Remember me then…

SOS to my friends : Please call

If you would wish to write and would be happy to hear from you : suresh.nair71@gmail.com

Bubye,

Much love and gracias, Suresh

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Favorite ideas(themes)

20 Mar

These are some favorite ideas and life lessons:

Let go & Present moment

“If you let go a little you a will have a little peace; if you let go a lot you will have a lot of peace; if you let go completely you will have complete peace. ”

― Ajahn Chah

“Whatever the present moment contains, accept it as if you had chosen it.”
― Eckhart Tolle

“Always say “yes” to the present moment. What could be more futile, more insane, than to create inner resistance to what already is? what could be more insane than to oppose life itself, which is now and always now? Surrender to what is. Say “yes” to life — and see how life suddenly starts working for you rather than against you.”
― Eckhart Tolle

Persistence & Hard work

“The point is, if you actually believe something, you try your best to make it happen. It doesn’t always happen, but it happens most of the time.”

― Vinod Khosla

“The best way out is always through.”
― Robert Frost

“The three great essentials to achieve anything worthwhile are, first, hard work; second, stick-to-itiveness; third, common sense.”
― Thomas A. Edison

Deliberate practice & preparation

“The journey to truly superior performance is neither for the faint of heart nor for the impatient. The development of genuine expertise requires struggle, sacrifice, and honest, often painful self-assessment. There are no shortcuts. It will take you at least a decade to achieve expertise, and you will need to invest that time wisely, by engaging in “deliberate” practice—practice that focuses on tasks beyond your current level of competence and comfort.

. You need a particular kind of practice—deliberate practice—to develop expertise. When most people practice, they focus on the things they already know how to do. Deliberate practice is different. It entails considerable, specific, and sustained efforts to do something you can’t do well—or even at all. Research across domains shows that it is only by working at what you can’t do that you turn into the expert you want to become.”

― K Anders Ericsson, Michael J Prietula, Edward T Cokely

“Achievement is talent plus preparation ”― Malcolm Gladwell, Outliers: The Story of Success

“If you work hard enough and assert yourself, and use your mind and imagination, you can shape the world to your desires.”― Malcolm Gladwell, Outliers: The Story of Success

Foolish & Hungry

“Stay hungry, stay foolish.”― Steve Jobs

“If you want to improve, be content to be thought foolish and stupid.” ― Epictetus

“The point of living and of being an optimist is to be foolish enough to believe the best is yet to come.” ― Peter Ustinov

These are some of my favorite themes : let go and present focus, persistence and hard work, deliberate practice and preparation, foolish and hungry…

Personally have to work on deliberate practice and preparation.

Hope you find them useful dear friends!

Love, Suresh

Favorite quotes

19 Mar

These are some of my favorite quotes:

” Ring the bells that still can ring
Forget your perfect offering
There is a crack in everything
That’s how the light gets in.”
― Leonard cohen

I have adult experiences but am not going to write about them , why am i stuck in childhood ?guess that’s where my heart is.. – Maurice Sendak

I have observed that both optimists and pessimists seem to leave this world in the same way – but the optimists live better lives – Shimon Peres

Live, travel, adventure, bless, and don’t be sorry. – Jack Kerouac

“When an archer is shooting for nothing he has all his skill.
If he shoots for a brass buckle he is already nervous.
If he shoots for a prize of gold
he goes blind
or sees two targets
– he is out of his mind!

His skill has not changed. But the prize
divides him. He cares.
He thinks more of winning than of shooting
and the need to win
drains him of power. ”
― Chuang Tzu

“Fall in love with some activity, and do it! Nobody ever figures out what life is all about, and it doesn’t matter. Explore the world. Nearly everything is really interesting if you go into it deeply enough. Work as hard and as much as you want to on the things you like to do the best. Don’t think about what you want to be, but what you want to do. Keep up some kind of a minimum with other things so that society doesn’t stop you from doing anything at all.”
― Richard Feynman

First they ignore you, then they ridicule you, then they fight you, and then you win.
― Mahatma Gandhi

Strength does not come from physical capacity. It comes from an indomitable will.
― Mahatma Gandhi

“I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where,
I love you simply, without problems or pride:
I love you in this way because I don’t know any other way of loving.”
― Pablo Neruda, 100 Love Sonnets

Sean McGuire: It’s not your fault.
Will Hunting: I know…
Sean McGuire: No, you don’t. It’s not your fault.
Will Hunting: I know.
Sean McGuire: No, listen to me, son. It’s not your fault.
― Goodwill Hunting movie
Galti kar rahe ho saheb ( You are making a mistake Sir)
Galti karna acha lagta hai ( I like making mistakes)
― A Wednesday movie
These are some of my favorite quotes.
Hope you have a nice weekend!
Love, Suresh

Mental models

18 Mar

“You have spent your entire life learning to be unhappy.Let me repeat that: you have spent your entire life learning to be unhappy. And the way we learn to be unhappy is by buying into a particular mental model.

A mental model is a notion we have that this is the way the world works. All of us have mental models, we’ve got dozens of mental models. We’ve got mental models on how to find a job, how to get ahead at work, how to pick a restaurant to eat at, how to have a movie to go to … dozens of them. The problem isn’t that we have mental models. The problem is that we don’t know that we have mental models. We think this is the way the world works. And the more we invest in a mental model, the more it appears that this, in fact, is the way the world works. But it isn’t: it’s just a mental model, and the mental model we have that we buy into so strongly is that we have to get something so we can do something so we can be something. Like, we have to get a great deal of money so we can travel to exotic places so we can be happy. We have to be in a relationship so we can have great sex so we can be happy.

All of this is a variation of the if-then model. And the if-then model is: if this happens, then we will be happy.

-Srikumar Rao, Plug into your hard-wired happiness, TED

More:https://www.ted.com/talks/srikumar_rao_plug_into_your_hard_wired_happiness?language=en

I came across this TED talk on happiness by a Business school professor Srikumar Rao who lays out some ideas for happiness – acceptance, to focus on process visa vis outcomes , happiness is our intrinsic nature..

I quite agree with mental models. We all of have a profile of how things are or should be.or must be. This need not be so. We feel comfortable in our world view, positions and formations. We are well invested in same. We are too attached to our ideas.

I like to think of  world as a heterogeneous system, where every one can find, create or assimilate knowledge, there are numerous paths to everything, the beautiful part is we are all different yet we can try for integration or inclusion..

Just like a family – where we all could have different orientation, view points, yet we give all  happy space , perhaps also integrate and live seamlessly. We can try this experiment.

I have a feeling my blog has run its time like all things should, may be should work on new things like fiction or pottery. I have a feeling. I am contemplating..

I would like my blogging to be remembered as one more point of view in this large heterogeneous universe. I am not calling quits yet, let’s see..

Pls check Prof Srikumar Rao’s TED talk may be you will like some ideas..

Have you ever had a bad outcome? This might throw a light on staying invested in process.

Have a easy weekend dear friends! My friend taught me this inspired from Lionel Ritchie song ” Easy”…

Love, Suresh

Thoughts 15th March 2017

15 Mar

– 2017 is a long time and internet itself is more than twenty years old. The new generation is called Millennials . It is perhaps equal to Chinese experiment of a super breed of humans. This is a post internet generation. They are very smart and  information rich.  They are not just book smart but wicked smart. The only thing they need is perhaps ” humility.”  I once read a Harvard president , Drew Gilpin Faust speech ”  In case we didn’t know it before, we have been forcefully reminded that we cannot control or predict the future or what it will require from us. Humility can be a effective tonic.”

– I don’t understand why humility is not projected as a virtue, it is basis of all learning which pretty much decides your outcomes. Look at the guy whose chin and hair both go in same direction defying gravity? The only other parallel is a ghazal singer whose hair reminded me of a sofa or a bed as he sang ” Sharab Cheez Hi Aisi hai ( Alcohol is such a drink..) or the Boney M guy . I quite liked the Boney M guy he was thin and danced wildly.

– The truth is confidence may be important than cognitive ability. If two kids have same  abilities the one with a better temperament has more chances of better outcomes. This is my experience. Confidence will have more results than high IQ.  I also found this corroborated in a Economist article ” How to join the 1%”. Millennials know it.

– Sometimes feel one is a sum total of choices  and people we meet.  But this is a very big area. If you go to a good school, you meet better people, you make better choices…if all things remain equal. I don’t know. But do feel. This entirely may not be true. As people from ordinary schools have brought great outcomes. It must be grit. Am I trying too hard to be a Malcolm Gladwell here..

– As far as psychology is concerned. Few nights ago couldn’t sleep and resolved to finish a article which wanted to read ” The making of an expert” – K Anders Ericsson, Michael J Prietula , Edward T Cokely, HBR. It’s a good dated  article and for those interested in 10,000 hrs of making an expert. It might be useful. I ended up ordering a book by the same author Anders Ericsson & Robert Pool ” Peak : Secrets from the new science of  expertise.” I will let you know. I hope this is the last book in this genre read. I would just like to read literature.

– ” I do think there’s a good framework for thinking. It is physics. You know, the sort of first principles reasoning. Generally I think there are — what I mean by that is, boil things down to their fundamental truths and reason up from there, as opposed to reasoning by analogy.Through most of our life, we get through life by reasoning by analogy, which essentially means copying what other people do with slight variations. And you have to do that. Otherwise, mentally, you wouldn’t be able to get through the day. But when you want to do something new, you have to apply the physics approach. Physics is really figuring out how to discover new things that are counterintuitive, like quantum mechanics. It’s really counterintuitive. So I think that’s an important thing to do, and then also to really pay attention to negative feedback, and solicit it, particularly from friends. This may sound like simple advice, but hardly anyone does that, and it’s incredibly helpful.”  ( Elon Musk , TED Talk, The mind behind Tesla, Space X and Solar City ..)

Think hard about that…

-“In the beginner’s mind there are many possibilities, hut in the expert’s there are few.” ( Shunryu Suzuki, Zen Mind, Beginner’s Mind )

Think about that too…

– How about combining above two? I have always found thinking down to fundamentals truths rewarding though it is mentally draining and exhausts you. The path to same has been through a empty mind, a beginners mind. This is the first time in life am trying to seek expertise. It takes time. I will post comments on same and Ericsson’s book.

– Doing should follow thinking, other wise will end up only as politburo or will have a headache and will have to bang head wildly to our Boney M friend ” Daddy cool” for some peace every day.

– I am  always grateful to my friends for their unconditional kindness and goodness. I am only a product of people’s kindness. It is only good people who make life livable.

This for today. Goodnight dear friends, hope you have a happy time ahead.

Love, Suresh

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Happy Women’s day!

8 Mar

 

Happy Women’s day dear friends!

Like this  Sia song every girl child at birth may be made to believe ” I’m unstoppable, I’m invincible, I’m so confident….”

There is no difference between a man and a woman. None whatsoever apart from physiological differences. Sky is the limit for a girl child. She can be whatever she chooses to be. I know in many parts of the world this is a struggle.

Life is not beautiful without women – sister’s, friends, partner’s, mother’s, aunts, every one…

Good night dear friends!  Happy women’s day!

Love, Suresh

 

My journey

5 Mar

“I don’t think of all the misery, but of the beauty that still remains.”

― Anne Frank, The Diary of a Young Girl

I have a colleague in office who has come back from a near death situation. He was in ICU for few months due to a road accident. He speaks to me every day around seven thirty in evening  when most have left for home. He generally needs reassurance . I listen to him and do my bit. Sometimes he is innocuous and sometimes he stuns me with his new found wisdom. We are never rendered same after a life changing experience. He said a few days ago looking at me deeply ” You must have made just one mistake…….” He apologized but was stunned. It is true.” I have made one mistake…”….

Before that a journey in pictures.

24012010112

I guess few years ago and somewhere in my thirties. Few lost years. My assignments were good but never got a big break. I searched , soul searched, talked to friends & walked to sanity.

15012010106

Again somewhere in thirties. I had really worked hard and done good assignments. I do not claim am the best but my work was always responsible. I have always been sure. Yet lost years. I spoke to friends, studied spirituality, walked and run my way to sanity. I realized business world is cruel.

004-3

I did three to four assignments. Then an colleague got in touch and after many  many interviews got a break again in industry with Polaris. I was forty two. I broke free of assignments with a steady Job. It’s not been easy. The company got acquired. I remain grateful.

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Age forty three celebrating birthday alone two years ago with a chocolate donut and coffee. I had a job but my life style remained same. Long walks, run or going to temples or book shops. May be lost the art of making friends. Since spent so much time alone.

002

I bought a house at age forty four a year ago. I will move in few months.  This where am right now age forty five..

Here’s what have seen or learnt:

– Life is not just about grades, jobs, money or success. I spent numerous hours in hospitals in cities for family. It’s incredibly difficult and solitary journey.

– Talent when rebellious does not conform to societal aspirations or follows the same path. Talent when conformist takes societal clues of grades, jobs, marriage or what ever. But talent is talent whether conformist or non conformist.

– When was young thought priests were a scam, but as got older learnt greedy people are scams.

–  Time is most essential or rather timing is essential.The things that matter when child, adolescence, twenties, thirties, more are not the same.

– The world has moved from prerestroika, liberalisation, globalisation back to nationalisation, Brexit and Far right every where. The more we change, the more we remain same. Why make progress?

– A teacher told me – you should remember three people always – Gandhi, Marx, Buddha. I suggest more options – Gandhi, Mandela, Buddha. Or Gandhi, Mandela, Mother Teresa. Or my choice -Gandhi, Richard Feynman and Leonard Cohen.

– Zen and life taught me all jobs are good. No job is bigger or lesser.  I saw a kennedy centre tribute to Robert De Niro ” He burned a hole even in shoe string productions…”

– Every one has a constituency. Even the most lout and creepy. I was surprised when some one came and asked ” Where did he go and don’t see him around….”  I could only smile

– Elon Musk, Jeff Bezos and Sam Altman may be the people who will change this world.

– Do I think world is a computer simulation? Of course , just check the guy whose hairstyle defies gravity…

– You may or may not succeed in Love. But love makes you a better person. I learnt hard work, quit cigarettes, spent time with my ailing parents…

– There are incredibly kind people in this world. I am a product of kindness of my friends. You never know where you will meet them..

– Even if people disagree with you or take different paths, they are good people..

– Sense of humour is important, it keeps you happy …..

There is more, we will keep covering and revisiting them in posts, like my favorite actor De Niro said in a commencement speech” Without pain what will we talk about…”

I want to go back to early love of science. If you really like rational thought or physics do check Elon Musk TED talk few years ago..

I never could consider marriage given my journey, every good person has advised me to get married, forty five and seeking now, we will see how that pans out..

Did I make a mistake?

Yes one mistake ” Screwed up my education ” I tried catch up but it’s been difficult ..

So my colleague has a god’s voice and he is right…

My journey thus far..

I have no clue where tomorrow will end up. My focus is on today.

This for today dear friends. Every journey is important.Not only ours. But every ones.

Have a good day dear friends!

Love, Suresh