Questions ( Answers)

19 Jul

Some days are bad. I find it difficult to drive back home.  My faculties are stretched to it’s limit. I possibly cannot make more effort. May be have done all I could. Is it enough? Will I survive and find my rightful place? Who is my friend? Who is my companion? Where do I go now? Whom should i speak to ?  How do I study? How to make a living with integrity and hardwork ? Am I arrogant?  What is top of your game without opportunity? Who decides what you are? Where did she go? Whom is she sleeping with? What is love? What is Success ? How do I provision for home loan payouts? Will thinking about ideas help? Am I clear eyed? Am I fucked?

When was young had many questions. I had questions all the time. I waited for my father to come home from work. Some times asked him and he mostly forgave me. I found peace with him. I never spoke yet found peace with him. My friends were helpful with questions.

I always had questions and approximate beliefs and possible answers. I am still the same. Does it means have no convictions? Of course not. Here is what am sure of so far:

– Health is most important thing. It should be your first priority. It includes peace and playfulness.

– Education and skill is second most important thing. It will give you opportunities and help you meet right people early.

– Work is third most important thing. It could be anything you like and you do it for yourself.

– Family is what you are born into and you must love them unconditionally.

– Friends and a network is important. The former keeps you stable and later decides on your success quotient.

– Have a goal and a purpose. It could be to plant a tree, sports, science, a quest , a something..

I think discount all opinions including myself.  My goal is to succeed in a vocation. I find it deeply embarrassing & painful otherwise. My purpose is to start a food bank in my father’s name and support at least one municipal school with mid day meals for poor students. I must earn more to save for same.  I will explore this. All ideas are welcome..

As always broken, driven, confused and in a quest. But loving all the time..

Have a good day dear friends!

Love, Suresh

 

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