Twenty years..

22 Feb

I am stretched and tired. I have work to do. But must blog. I have a need to do it.  One of favorite actors Naseeruddin Shah had said ” You should act, only if you have a need to do it, otherwise don’t do it.” Same for blogging and sharing a journey. It’s all that have. Also these day’s blog only on weekends. I have a need to do it. Though am half- asleep and not so lucid.  Never mind love Mascherano as much as Messi.

Three reactions in a month..

” You really hit a bad patch Suresh and you managed to be sane and unfazed ” said somebody who changed my life, me nodded in gratefulness as we traveled together, deeply thankful..

” You fell down a thousand times and woke up a thousand times ” My lawyer friend told me emotionally and we have been freinds for a long time.

” Atleast  you got what you deserved, now make a name for yourself ..” Another freind called me up and spoke for long time as we always do.

My friends are not emotional, they just have  seen me silently grind..

“It took me twenty years” told them , yes twenty years murmered half- sheepishly, half -smilingly ,as am wont to:)

” They sentenced me to twenty years of boredom
For trying to change the system from within
I’m coming now, I’m coming to reward them
First we take Manhattan, then we take Berlin

I’m guided by a signal in the heavens
I’m guided by this birthmark on my skin
I’m guided by the beauty of our weapons
First we take Manhattan, then we take Berlin ”

( Leonard Cohen/ First we take Manhattan)


My dear freinds and well wisher’s, my new job 🙂

It took me twenty years. Twenty – one  and half precisely. 1993 started, was twenty two year old student, restless, happy, shy, forever falling in love and miserable. 2015, happy, shy,  still in love and miserable 🙂

I am no more restless and have found something inside, it comes from sufferring, endurance and grace. You have to find it. It’s both resilience and surrender. I am a believer in grind and grace. It’s god’s will and incomparable mercy that am back on bogey street, am just a ” lazy lump of corruption ” like once a woman told me over phone, tell me what does it mean 🙂

I believed every day for these twenty years, my well wishers did..

It could have all gone wrong, horribly wrong. I survived and all he said graciously was ” Iam just a channel, life get’s fair at some stage.” I was so grateful.

My heroes are my friends and my young cousins  who are just twenty two year olds you know, like I was once upon a time..

The real good people never ridicule you, the real ones I mean, the real ones have compassion, majority sneer at your struggles and suffering..

The good are always good..


I went to golf course and was invited for a meeting. I found the ambience lovely and wondered should I pick up golf ? Its suits my temperament and green fields beckon me..

I finish my meeting, do not think much about the beautiful lady in blue and go home. I wanted to catch up on sleep. A pleasant saturday afternoon.

javier mascherano

Javier Alejandro Mascherano and his beautiful partner. I have written about Fifa world cup and Mascherano, one of my heroes, relentless and hardworking, F. C Barcelona player is Rafa of soccer. Brilliant and brave. I have learnt to embrace hardwork like taking a shower, brushing your teeth, a shave, then hardwork..

My freind told me in Mumbai ” If you don’t have capital, you can only be diligent, its simple economics ” true, but discipline, grit helped me survive twenty years. I had nothing except wishes and prayers.

Mascherano picture:


I am a believer in one above and it is by grace of god everything happens..

” The lord is fulfiller of aspirations and the giver of all the comforts in his power is the elysian cow so, o my soul, meditate, on such lord, then alone, shall thou obtain all the comforts”

( This from sikh holy texts..)

It is god’s grace which is supreme..

Finally remember every kind word and blessing, every thoughtfulness, every encouragement that came my way in these twenty years.

When I was twenty one year old and a atheist, had two heroes : my father and a good girl. I looked upto them for peace and guidance. They set me on my journey. My father gave me a life and my then friend gifted me two shirts as a parting gift, wore one of them for interviews and other for social occasions. My friend never met me again. My father passed away. I was horribly sad but survived.

I remember them.

Iam not special. In a smart and connected world. Where every one is smart. I am zen. I have a beginners mind. A thousand questions..

Iam  just a normal person who  has a new job, but if any one who comes this side and is going through a tough time, remember ” Never give up. Never ever give up. Every thing changes. It takes one man. one woman. one opportunity.”

Goodnight friends!  Have a nice week ahead! Till then..

please do read this fine Will Smith interview from Esquire:

Love, Suresh


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