How To Make New Friends As An Adult : Stephanie Vozza

3 Jan

I decided to resume biking yesterday. To my surprise bike was rusty and needed repairs. As struggled with none too impressive repairing skills, the child came on his bike and started giving me directions. This was clearly his domain. He told me we must go to bike ( cycle) repair shop. He is eleven. I nodded. I had to lift the bike as we walked together. We went to first shop. The effort was paltry. No good. He said there is another shop on the corner. He then wondered ” How can you lift the bike and walk? “. I smiled and heaved every now and then. He stumped me by further asking ” Do you want to go to a branded shop or a local repair shop?”.  I said ” local” is okay. He spent a good hour with me as we got the bike repaired. I asked about” his school, his family and what he wants to be when he grows up. ”  He then asked me if could join me on the road for a bike ride. I told him, its late ” and you must go home.” I waved him off smilingly. I wondered then, only a child would come and spend time like that. The child is my friend.

I read a fast company article “How To Make New Friends As An Adult ” by  Stephanies Vozza. She writes..

” When you’re a kid, making new friends is fairly easy. There’s school, sports, and a slew of extracurricular activities where you meet other kids and form relationships. When you’re an adult, however, the process isn’t quite so effortless. Commitments such as work and family limit free time and—unlike during childhood—it can feel awkward to ask someone, “Do you want hang out?”

This is so true. My little friend escorted me to two repair shops just like that and more over children have no motives. They are beautiful and god’s gift to humanity.

She further writes “And the older you get, the fewer friends you probably have. While social circles increase through early adulthood, friendship networks peak and start to decrease as you move through your twenties, according to a  2013 study published in the psychological bulletin. Researchers found that the drop in friendships was often due to marriage, parenthood, and a desire to focus on closer relationships.”

I remembered a Masaba Gupta interview, quoting her  father, the great Vivian  Richards ” family is important; there is no such thing as a friend. If you have one true friend, it is a big thing!”.  I  felt same and  focussed on family. I have two good friends. 

I guess my social skills are zero. More appropriately it’s  attuned to a male stray dog. Like the dog barks  unexpectedly when it wants to. I too feel great happiness and love meeting people. I have lot of sisters in my extended family. I love meeting them whenever get to travel. I have little cousin brothers. I love spending time with them. But this is sporadic and only when me or they travel. Else like the stray dog, go into a shell wagging tail at nothing. Sometimes like it feel sudden naughtiness and excitement. But it tapers off after a while 🙂

Also all my hobbies seem solitary : running, biking, reading, writing music & zen. I confess liked spending time alone. I always did. I wish had friends to hang out and grab a bite. I guess should make friends, but how?

I recently spent some time with my uncle and aunt in my native. They are social and lead  happy lives. They are a great couple and complement each other well. He is loving and active, she is energetic and smart. Children are married and lovely. Ideal retirement guess. I  now clearly understand why people should get married !!

One of my endearing aunts  even insightfully told me ” look at the beggars, even they are arms entwined in three with a bowl..”

May be should get married or should make friends ..

I miss my friend..

Please do follow link to read more. To share  more from the article..

“And while you can’t plan for them, sometimes life circumstances lead to friendships: “A single experience—the bonding that took place between two strangers who were near the World Trade Center when it collapsed, for example—can produce a deep friendship that lasts a lifetime,”

Good night friends! Hope you find this fast company piece useful.

Have a lovely day!

Thank you!








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