7 Habits of Highly Emotionally Intelligent People :Harvey Deutschendorf ( Fast Company)

1 Jan

Happy New Year dear friends. Today is the first day of new year and want to share this nice fast company article7 Habits of Highly Emotionally Intelligent People” by  Harvey Deutschendorf. The pointers are really useful and if experimented with in daily life will make a difference.

Before that, in my pilgrimage in southern India, visited many temples and during one such visit to a village temple, noticed a The temple priest vehemently complaining to a little boy. I was struck by his complaints. I realised, cons are part of any job, in God’s business also there are complaints 🙂

It was a hamlet and it was mundane and nothing serious. I do not like complaints. Does that mean am above aboard ? not at all, lost my equanimity and poise in journey back home. I got caught up in a graceless argument. I felt ashamed after the inident. I can say some one else triggered the response.  That’s a complaint.

So what is it that made village priest and me in two separate incidents lose composure ?

It must be emotional intelligence, so let’s examine this..

Harvey Deutschendorf writes ” It has increasingly become accepted that emotional intelligence is an important factor in our success and happiness, not only at work, but in our relationships and all areas of our lives.”

He goes on to give seven habits of people with high EI : they focus on positive; they surround themselves with positive people; they are able to set boundaries and be assertive when necessary; they are forward thinking and willing to let go of the past;  they look for ways to make life more fun, happy and interesting; they choose how they spend their energy wisely; continually learning and growing towards independence.

These are good pointers. To quote from the article :

” While not ignoring the bad news, emotionally intelligent people have made a conscious decision to not spend a lot of time and energy focusing on problems. Rather, they look at what is positive in a situation and look for solutions to a problem. These people focus on what they are able to do and that which is within their control. ”

” People with a lot of emotional intelligence don’t spend a lot of time listening to complainers and tend to avoid negative people. They are aware negative people are an  energy drain  and are not willing to let others exhaust their vitality. Because they always look for solutions and the positive in situations, negative people quickly learn to avoid positive people as misery loves company.

Emotionally intelligent people spend time with others that are positive and look upon the bright side of life. You can spot these folks as they tend to smile and laugh a great deal and attract other positive people. Their warmth, openness, and caring attitude leads others look upon them as more trustworthy. ”

” Although their friendly, open nature may make them appear as pushovers to some, people with high EI are able to set boundaries and assert themselves when needed. They demonstrate politeness and consideration but stay firm at the same time.

They do not make needless enemies. Their response to situations, in which there may be conflict, is measured, not inflated, and managed appropriately to the situation. They think before speaking and give themselves time to calm down if their emotions appear to become overwhelming. High EI people guard their time and commitments and know when they need to say no. ”

Please follow the link and read this useful fast company piece. I think there are no enemies, just disagreements and if we are able to give a measured response, we could resolve all conflicts pragmatically and politely. It needs measured assertivenes sometimes.

The Temple priest and me needs to get better 🙂

I will write more about pilgrimage in subsequent posts. Till then happy happy new year and remember ” No complaints ” 🙂

Have a lovely day my friends! Happy 2015!!

Thank you!


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: