This above all: to thine own self be true..

25 May

I had a lapse of grace today. I got a call at 6am from the security guard. It’s a parking dispute. I met a older friend. We had tea and he asked me questions. As is my wont searched for answers and proceeded for my solitary walk. I thought would find my grace. I resolved to  find a new residence this year. I need a new assignment for that. Life has never been easy. Some pictures…Image

I am alone and not in grace. So no will to ” Run”. Its hot too, so just took some pictures, here , there, wherever..Image

A dog was looking at me suspiciously, he probably felt a connection, and had a look of conviction ” a stray dog may be..” . I  refused to acknowledge him, lest he be true..Image

I wanted to sit here for a while, had tried ” walking meditation ”  but was defeated by questioning mind, so let it be..

I came home, thinking would be better, somebody confronted me about parking dispute, just lost it again and felt miserable.. So went the day…

I stepped out in evening, dropped a guest to their residence, went to a ground ( stadium) and just sat there in evening, seeing some people run and some play soccer. I realized today is not my day, another day would have run.  I have never sat alone in a ground just watching for a long time. Like this , looking like a duck..

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It was windy. I was impressed with some people’s run. A four year old girl said to her father ” all you talk about is jogging” and she said so and ran! I decided may be should run on this ground.  Normally me run on the road. So may be soon. If am in grace. Else just walk.I remembered my earlier friends. I have not met them for years. I wondered if they remember me. I decided long time ago to be with my mother and brother. I need to give them a better life now. Many thoughts. I  have two good friends .They have mothered me for last ten years. They don’t live in the city. I always talk to them if am not in grace. May be will speak to them in coming week. I missed my school friend. I thought about my father. I thought about life. Many things. I came back late evening. I was waiting for a call about discussions for my next assignment. The call never came.  I must do better. I must live better.  To quote Cohen ” I’m good at love….. Its in between I freeze”

Not a day of grace, miss having a family, children and all those things..

Some earlier pictures buying a ” saree” for my mother, on her birth day….that was a better day..

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I realized parents ( all parents ) as they get older live only for children, they are totally selfless, so try to make my mother happy, am not a ideal, but always try. I do not know much about sarees, so confused here..

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I try to zero on some..

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I make my pick..

That was a better day. I could implement my plans and was in grace.

Two things,  ” Think about your selfless parents”. and ” This above all, to thine own self be true ” …no matter..

Goodnight friends! Hope you be in grace and have a lovely day! If you have children, much love to them from humble self..

Have a lovely day!  Thank you!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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