Wholehearted Parenting : Brene Brown

3 Dec

I have no experience in parenting. I am reading this book ” Daring greatly : How the courage to be Vulnerable transforms the way we live, love, parent and lead” by Brene Brown , Penguin. I had seen her TED talk ( Please see an earlier post on the power of vulnerability ) and ventured to read the book. I like her research and work on shame resilience and vulnerability. I found the book a difficult read as one had to traverse through one’s own experience of shame and vulnerability. So its not a reflection on the writer but on the subject. I want to share a brief manifesto  of  Wholehearted parenting which liked and think is important. She says ” we should strive to raise children who :

  • Engage with the world from a place of worthiness.
  • Embrace their vulnerabilities and imperfections.
  • Feel a deep sense of love and compassion for themselves and others.
  • Value hard work, perseverance and respect.
  •  Carry a sense of authenticity and belonging with them, rather than searching for it in external places.
  •  Have the courage to be imperfect, vulnerable, and creative.
  • Don’t fear feeling ashamed or unlovable if they are different or if they are struggling.
  • Move through our rapidly changing world with courage and a resilient spirit.

She further says ” For parents this means we are called upon to”

  •  Acknowledge that we can’t give our children what we don’t have and so we must let them share in our journey to grow, change and learn.
  • Recognize our own armor and model for our children how to take it off, be vulnerable, show up, and let ourselves be seen and known.
  •  Honor our children by continuing on our own journey towards wholeheartedness.
  • Parent from a place of “enough” rather than scarcity.
  • Mind the gap and practice the values we want to teach.
  • Dare greatly, possibly more than we’ve ever dared before.

” In other words, if we want our children to love and accept who they are, our job is to love and accept who we are. We can’t use fear, blame, and judgement in our own lives if we want to raise courageous children. Compassion and connection – the very things that give purpose and meaning to our lives – can only be learned if they are experienced. And our families are our first opportunities to experience these things. “

— Daring greatly : How the courage to be Vulnerable transforms the way we live, love, parent and lead” by Brene Brown , Penguin.

I like her broad definition of ” Wholehearted people ”  as people who have a  strong sense of love and belonging . One of my friends told me in a function that children shapes our path as we go along and we learn new things from them. He was indicating to me to get married and my friend an honorable man was making a good observation. I could only listen and smile. At age 22 all wanted to do was get married and have daughters because had seen my father’s joy and love for my younger sister. My father would just be joyful playing with her. I loved it and realized greatest love there is perhaps between a father and daughter. I love children. I have tendency to treat all good people as children.  Now I do not know what life holds in future. I learnt few things by observation ” if we don’t blame children or make them feel small instead if we love them unconditionally and always make them feel worthy” and participate in their journey wholeheartedly and embrace them with love and belonging , they will grow up as fine people. That is worth the education. My heart says so , caveat is have no experience , zero 🙂 one more thing, fathers might love daughters but greatest bond is between a mother and daughter, they can talk for hours 🙂

Hope you find Brene Brown’s wholehearted parenting manifesto useful. I dedicate this to my friend and all of you who are doing a great job of raising children. 

Goodnight friends. Hope you have a lovely day! Thank you!



2 Responses to “Wholehearted Parenting : Brene Brown”

  1. sureshvn December 6, 2013 at 9:02 am #

    Thank you 🙂


  1. Inspiration | danielle lorberbaum - December 6, 2013

    […] Wholehearted Parenting : Brene Brown (neverlamentcasually.wordpress.com) […]

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