Desire

7 May

Desire :

It’s been a long time
two decades

a search began
knowledge and truth
love and happiness

but one thing

missed my mind

desire for success

damned me

damned two decades

I studied and longed
thought it was a natural destination

destiny and destination
seemed two different ports

damned me

damned two decades

I met you

something moved
across me and my spirit
my world complete

you said it was true love
thought you were everything

but the dagger was disguised
that thing still eluded me
you truly said, just may be

“nobody can take your place in my heart “
believe you
damned me
damned two decades

Life changed

lost my love

lost my light
my father, my world
my friends , my flock

Thought family and god
is everything now
a broken little brother

a bright little sister
a mother without luck
survived ,maimed , integrated
my brother survived ,survived well
my sister handsomely found her feet ,found her life

felt happy like a child-father
that thing still eluded
damned me
damned two decades

Was there light?
sometimes work was light

sometimes was disagreeable

unrequited and forlorn

but but met my people

they made me happy

may be, just may be
that was sole purpose of work

My friends were light

boys and girls,

grew up with me

out grew me

truer than true

who forgave automatically

my master says

“must be something to do with love”

The boys just may remain

Girls till marriage

Once married will send
yearly letter or a messenger to know

Your sheep and lilies of snow

You give your statement

You wonder

The women came

reminded me lovingly

nicely ,subtly ,loudly

always a mirror
that damned thing
damned me

damned two decades

It’s true

found that thing

in places where no one sings

hospitals, rehabilitation homes ,monasteries

but that’s a seekers world

those cards with no choice

but there is a desire..

A true desire

A fresh desire
To find my success

It could be just this blog

It could be to learn to cook

To throw awaythat dagger stick
two lost decades no more

I want to be a success..

All that learnt

All that seeks is belief

belief ,belief , belief

I want to be young again..

P S : The reference to master is Leonard Cohen and line “ all your sheep and lilies of snow” is a reference from the song “ Take This Waltz” by Leonard Cohen

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